Do you have an an anxiety mindset?

We currently live in a stress -filled age.  Stress is everywhere.  Lives are moving faster, and stress seems to be on the increase.  Human beings can only take so much stress before it boils over into anxiety.

Are you constantly turning over issues, thinking about the future, picking over the past, constantly analysing, worrying, or ‘nit-picking’ about what did happen or might happen?  This can be exhausting and unproductive.

If you are suffering with anxiety, you may often ask ‘What if?’ ‘What if it rains and I get wet?’  ‘What if I say something stupid?’.  This is largely based on fear of the unknown, of taking risks, and feeling unprepared or unable to deal with the unseen.

Or do you say ‘If only…’  ‘If only we had got up earlier, we wouldn’t have been delayed’ or ‘If only I hadn’t said that’, ‘If only I hadn’t eaten that cake, I wouldn’t have put on weight’.  This anxiety is around regret often disguising anger and resentment.

Or do you have the mindset of ‘should have, could have, would have’.  This is about what you should have done, what could have been and what would have happened.  This is the worst kind of negative mindset, as it is a way of beating yourself up for the past, the present and the future.

This mindset takes up a huge amount of energy and can become obsessive, we worry away, trying to rewrite history.  ‘I should have got up early, and then we could have caught the train ….it has ruined the whole day.  Should have, could have, would have can also be a way of blaming other people.  Either way it usually wipes out positive thinking as you constantly try and change the past and the future without living in the present.

An anxiety mindset can be common if you grew up with anxious parents/carers, have experienced a lot of trauma in your life or have had some bad experience with receiving any support.  Or you just maybe made that way.  You can end up using a lot of valuable energy worrying about things before they actually happen – which can be exhausting.

The good news is that it is just a bad habit which can be given up, you can learn to conquer it if you want to.  The key is to learn to catch yourself when you start off on a path of anxiety.

Consider whether you are a ‘What if’, ‘If only’ or ‘Should have, could have, would have’ type?  Or maybe you are all three.  Next time you start thinking like this, take notice, don’t beat yourself up, just be aware of when you do it.  Catch yourself and gently correct yourself.  Gradually you can learn to nip it in the bud and stay calm before it escalates out of control.

It is all about unlearning a bad habit and replacing it with something new.

If you feel you need help with transforming your anxiety mindset and want to find out more about the work I do, I would love to support you, you can call me on 07974 682525 or email me on to set up a time to chat.

It is time to spring clean

It is time to spring clean and declutter your mind and body to make room for more joy in your life?

We have all experienced a loss of some kind during this pandemic, whether it be loss of control, freedom, normality, human contact/connection, or job/finances.  You could be experiencing issues around family dynamics, around not seeing friends, health, enjoyment of life and fear for the future.  Any of these can have an impact on our mental health (such as feelings of guilt, anger, regret), and our physical health (such as headaches, tension/aches and pains, disturbed sleep).  Children and teenagers have had a double impact of loss with curtailed education, diminished job prospects and reduced social contact with peers. 

As our thoughts turn to spring cleaning our homes, we need to turn our focus onto our own mental well-being and shift old unhelpful patterns.  One of the ways of doing this is to up our self-care routine – do you have one?  Do you need to start one?  Do you give yourself any time to relax, unwind?  Are you always giving?  Are you pleasing others and putting their needs before yours?

I encourage you to take time to re-connect, recharge and replenish you.  Reset through connecting with nature, walking, gardening or dancing.  Become creative – drawing, painting, cooking.   All of these are great for clearing the mind, releasing tension and will help your self-esteem and self-worth. Whatever your self-care practice I do hope you will find time for you.

If you need help identifying/releasing old patterns of behaviour and would like freedom from feelings of hopelessness, sadness, overwhelm, loneliness, anxiety, limiting beliefs, unhealthy patterns, procrastination and want to reach a place of happiness, confidence, and joy then I invite you to book a free 20-minute nurturing call with me on 07974 682525 or