You Are Not Behind: Wintering, Intention Setting and the Permission to Rest

As the year unfolds many people feel an unspoken pressure to move faster, do more and “get on with it”. If that is you let me gently remind you of something important:

You are not behind.
You don’t need to rush.
And there is nothing you need to fix about yourself right now.

This can be a difficult message to hear when so much of the world is telling us the opposite. The start of a new year often comes with an unspoken pressure to do more, be better, and push forward even when our bodies, minds and nervous systems are quietly asking for rest.

Despite the noise around “new year, new you”, this is still a time of wintering. A time of rest, reflection, preparation and gathering energy.

In nature, winter is an essential phase of growth. Trees don’t force themselves to bloom early. Seeds are not behind because they are underground. Energy is being gathered quietly, beneath the surface.

And we are part of nature too.

Wintering and the Nervous System

When we ignore the natural rhythm of winter and push ourselves to stay busy, productive and constantly available, our nervous systems often pay the price. Many people I work with describe feeling:

chronically tired yet unable to rest
mentally busy but emotionally flat
anxious, irritable, or overwhelmed
disconnected from their own needs

This isn’t a personal failing it is a sign of living out of sync with the body.

Winter is an invitation to slow down, pause, regulate the nervous system and reconnect inwardly. It is a time for listening rather than striving.

Why Resolutions Often Create More Stress

This is why I don’t believe in or advocate New Year’s resolutions.

Resolutions often depend on willpower, perfectionism, rigid expectations and an underlying belief that something about us needs fixing.

They tend to ignore the reality of our lives, changing energy levels, emotional needs, family demands, health fluctuations and nervous system capacity. And when life inevitably happens, those resolutions quietly fall away, often replaced by guilt, self-criticism and a familiar inner narrative of “I’ve failed again.”

But the problem isn’t you or a lack of discipline.

The problem is trying to force change through pressure instead of compassion.

Setting Intentions: A Gentler Way Forward

Rather than resolutions, I invite people to set intentions, a gentle more sustainable approach. Intentions are rooted in self-awareness rather than self-control. They allow space for fluctuations in energy, emotions, health and circumstances.

Intentions don’t demand perfection.
They don’t require relentless discipline.
They don’t punish you when you are tired, emotional or human.

Intentions begin with self-connection.

A powerful place to start is not with goals, but with curiosity:

How do I want to feel day to day?
How do I want my body to feel as I move through my life?
What would help me feel more grounded, supported and regulated?

These questions shift us out of the mind and back into the body where real, sustainable change begins.

From here, we can build small, intentional steps. Not dramatic overhauls. Not “all or nothing” thinking. Just realistic, kind, sustainable changes that work with your nervous system rather than against it and create far more lasting transformation.

You Don’t Need Permission to Rest

So many people I work with are waiting often unconsciously for permission.

Permission to slow down.
Permission to rest without guilt.
Permission to not be busy all the time.

But rest is not something you need to justify.

You don’t need to earn it by being productive enough.
You don’t need to explain it.
And you certainly don’t need to push yourself to the point of depletion before it’s allowed.

Rest is a biological need. It’s how the nervous system recalibrates. It’s how clarity returns. It’s how resilience is built.

Being constantly busy is not a badge of honour or a sign of success. It is often a sign that deeper needs are being ignored.

It’s Okay to Go Slowly

You may be hearing a lot about momentum, movement and charging ahead this year. But energetically, this is still a time for reflection. The forward-moving energy many people speak about doesn’t truly come into play until later in February.

Until then, it is more than okay to pause.

This is also a Year 1, a year associated with self-definition, embodied presence and choosing who you are becoming from the inside out. Not who you think you should be, but who feels aligned, grounded and authentic to you now.

This kind of becoming cannot be rushed.

It asks for honesty, patience and self-trust.

Wintering Is Not Standing Still

There is a common fear that if we slow down, we will lose momentum, miss opportunities or fall behind others.

But wintering is not stagnation.

It is a season of:

integration
nervous system regulation
emotional processing
gentle recalibration

It is where insight emerges. Where old patterns loosen. Where clarity quietly takes shape.

Sometimes the most powerful work we do is the quiet work of resting and gathering strength.

Going slowly now doesn’t delay growth it supports it.

A Gentle Reflection for You

If you take nothing else from this, I invite you to sit with this question:

What would it look like to move through this season with more kindness toward myself?

There is no rush to answer it.
No pressure to act on it immediately.
Just a soft invitation to listen.

You are not behind.
You are becoming.

And winter is doing exactly what it’s meant to do.

If you are noticing that slowing down feels unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or even unsafe, you are not alone. Many people have learned to override their bodies, push through stress and ignore their own needs for years.

My work supports people to reconnect with themselves emotionally, physically and energetically, so they can move through life with greater calm, clarity and self-trust. Through gentle, body-based and holistic approaches, I help clients regulate their nervous systems, soften their inner critic and create change that feels sustainable rather than exhausting.

If this resonates, you are very welcome to explore working with me or simply take this season one small, compassionate step at a time.

Mindset Shifts for the ‘Ber Months – Finding Balance as the Year Winds Down

As we step into the “ber months”, September through to December, there is a noticeable shift in energy all around us. The mornings feel cooler, evenings draw in earlier and nature begins its gentle transition towards rest.

For some this time of year feels cosy and grounding. For others it can bring dips in mood, energy, motivation, overwhelm or even sadness as the shorter days and the thought of another year closing in bring pressure or reflection.

The truth is, it is natural to feel a mix of emotions. The seasons influence not just our environment, but also our mindset and wellbeing. Add in busy schedules and festive pressure it is easy to fee a little out of balance.

The good news is with a little awareness and some simple practices, we can move through this season feeling more balanced, resilient and well.

How the ‘Ber Months Affect Our Mindset

Seasonal changes in light can impact energy levels and mood. Colder weather may leave us more tired or vulnerable to bugs.
Shorter days may reduce motivation, making it harder to keep routines.
End-of-year pressure often triggers self-criticism about what we “should” have achieved.
Emotional shifts surface as we reflect, sometimes leading to stress or comparison.

Instead of resisting these changes, we can choose to flow with them just as nature does.

Nurturing Your Wellbeing This Season

Here are some gentle ways to care for your mind, body and energy as we move through autumn and into winter:

Seek the light: Make the most of daylight hours; get outside, walk and soak in natural light.

Move mindfully: Stretch, walk, dance, or practice yoga to shift stagnant energy.

Nourish your body: Enjoy warming, seasonal foods like soups, stews and root vegetables especially reds, orange and yellows like pumpkins, squash, carrots, sweet potatoes and beetroot. Stay hydrated, even if you don’t feel as thirsty.

Make yourself cosy: Create cosy spaces with candles and blankets and lean into routines that feel supportive. Like reading a book, mindful colouring, having a bath in the afternoon (yes really give yourself permission to do it and see how it feels).

Pause & reflect: Journaling, mindfulness/meditation or EFT tapping can help process emotions and calm the nervous system.

Practice gratitude: Celebrate progress, no matter how small and acknowledge what you have navigated this year.

Set gentle intentions: Instead of pressure filled goals, allow space for reflection and alignment.

Holistic Therapies to Support You

Alongside lifestyle shifts, holistic therapies can give your mind and body an extra layer of support during the colder months:

Reflexology: By working on specific points in the feet, reflexology helps the body rebalance, reduce stress, improve sleep and strengthen the immune system.

Lymphatic Drainage Massage: A gentle, rhythmic massage that stimulates the lymphatic system, helping the body clear toxins, reduce swelling and boost immunity. Perfect if you feel sluggish or run down.

Reiki: A calming energy healing practice that helps release stress, support emotional wellbeing and restore balance. Many people find Reiki especially grounding in the darker months.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT Tapping): The autumn and winter months can stir up emotions: stress from busy schedules, sadness from shorter days or old grief that feels heavier in quieter seasons. EFT works by calming the nervous system, reducing anxiety, shifting limiting beliefs and reframing our thoughts. Regular tapping can help you feel lighter, calmer and more resilient as you move through the colder months.

Embracing the Invitation

The autumn months are an invitation to pause, reflect and realign with what truly matters. They remind us that slowing down is not a weakness, it is a powerful way to reset and honour our energy to support our health and wellbeing. Just as the trees let go of their leaves, we too can release what no longer serves us and make space for renewal.

Be gentle with yourself. Progress isn’t always about doing more, sometimes it is about creating calm, resting and allowing your inner world to align with the season’s rhythm.

How do the ‘ber months feel for you: cosy and uplifting, or heavier and reflective?

How do I want to feel by the end of this year? Calm, energised, balanced?

Ready to Support Your Winter Wellness?

Whether you’re looking for reflexology, lymphatic drainage massage, Reiki, EFT or Mindset coaching, I would love to support you in creating calm, clarity, and balance through the winter months.

Book a free no obligation call here: 30 min Nurturing Session for online sessions.

Or here: VitaliQi Holistic Health Clinic for in person sessions at VitaliQi, Barnstaple.

Develop your inner coach

Help your inner critic become your inner coach

Your inner critic is the internal dialogue that tells you:

– You are not enough

– You don’t know enough

– You are not smart enough

– You are not pretty enough

– You are lazy – you never finish things

Right now, that nit-picking voice could be stronger than ever and can come out with some very hurtful things, but the job of the inner critic is to keep us safe. Protecting us from shame, criticism, failure, and feelings you want to avoid. By getting in before others with the criticism it gives you a chance to adjust your behaviour and learn from your mistakes. The problem is if we only listen to our inner critic, it can stop us from taking action leading to procrastination, holding ourselves back and staying small. The trick is to know how to listen and turn them into helpful strategies for growth – allow it to become your inner coach.

There tends to be 3 things that can exacerbate our inner critic – you may have experienced any or all of these lately:

Ø You may be carrying around lots of emotion – if we are sad, grieving, angry or afraid our inner critic often takes charge, responding to the volatility and uncertainty that comes at times of intense emotions.

Ø You may have limiting beliefs – like “nothing I every do is good enough” or “I can’t trust anyone to do it right”. Your inner critic may want to protect you from perceived risk and this then makes things like accepting mistakes, asking for help, or handling criticism from others challenging.

Ø You may be tired from juggling more than usual recently and when we are depleted our inner critic often takes over. Have you found yourself saying “I’m just terrible at this, I’m hopeless, there’s no point?”

Imagine being able to turn down the volume and tap into your inner coach to improve your self-worth, create empowered beliefs, and live a life of joy. If your inner critic is consuming and overwhelming you and stopping you from living life fully then now is the time to take action.

Book a free 30-minute nurturing call with me:

calendly.com/samanthahardwickcoach

Navigating Our Emotions

Our lives are full of emotional challenges currently with the need to ‘keep up’, the fear of missing out, the desire for good relationships, pressure to succeed and work satisfaction which can elicit lots of emotions.

However, we have been taught to not work with our emotions but to suppress and avoid them. Using screen time, alcohol, or other addictive substances to help us avoid them. When we do acknowledge them, we tend to whisk them away with phrases like “mind over matter”, “get a grip”, phrases and patterns learned from childhood. Circumventing our emotions is not good for our mental or physical health. A bit like pressing the accelerator and brake at the same time in your car creating an internal pressure cooker.

Emotions have energy and we tend to block them by holding our breath or tightening our muscles as they can be overwhelming or conflicting but in doing so it puts stress on the mind and the body causing anxiety and depression and physical issues like heart disease, intestinal problems, headaches, insomnia, and autoimmune disorders.

Do you suffer with feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety? Have you also got physical symptoms like stomach issues but are not aware that your emotions may be causing them? Are there emotions that you are ignoring?

Recent neuroscience shows that the more emotions and conflicts we experience, the more anxiety we feel. This is due in part to the vagus nerve, one of the main emotional centres of the body. The vagus nerve responds to emotions triggered in the mid-brain and sends signals to the heart, lungs and intestines which triggers our fight/flight mode and increases our stress hormone levels. So many of us are in this increased state of stress which can cause trouble with almost all of our body’s processes increasing the risk of weight gain, sleep problems and anxiety.

So, if you want to get relief from your physical symptoms, enjoy freedom from your negative thoughts and feel good about yourself then I would love to hear from you.

Book your free call here: calendly.com/samanthahardwickcoach